A Personal Reformation

The following is a repeat of my recent Facebook post concerning my decision to change who I am for the better...I'm sorry for how long it's been since I've posted anything, but I promise that I've been very productive since last time...mostly... XP

"...you know...
...it's been repeatedly said by great people over the years, that evil only triumphs when good men do nothing, or remain silent. I just read a blog post by an incredible young woman named Laura Peredo, which can be seen on the link I shared earlier, and while I've been reading her posts avidly for the past few months, something about this one particularly moved me to the core. I don't know...maybe it's the repugnance of the act mentioned and denounced in her recent blog post, or maybe it's some kind of divine inspiration. Either way, I've come to make a decision. People make a lot of declarations on Facebook...declarations of all sorts, both good and bad, selfless and selfish, healing and harmful. I've come to realize recently that...well...I haven't put enough faith, enough confidence...enough GUTS behind my words in the past, here or elsewhere. I've been too afraid of being rejected or attacked by those who don't agree with what I have to say--or that simply don't prefer me, period. But you know what? I think this most recent article I read is the last straw.
I'm done being silent. I'm done letting others state their own versions of right and wrong, and I'm done tiptoeing around the beliefs of other people because I don't want to "offend" them. I'm done being silent...and I'm done denying that which I know to be true, and accepting that which is wrong by remaining quiet. So here's my own personal declaration, on April 8th, 2013--I, Hiram Davis Johnson, refuse to remain silent in my faith any longer, and further deny those beliefs which I hold most sacred as a Roman Catholic. I owe it to myself to be true to what I feel, and more than anything, I owe it to God. And I will never be afraid again...because "no servant is greater than his master". The world hated Him first, so there's no avoiding the fact that it will most certainly come to hate me and people like me, who stand for what Christ taught us. But I will embrace it, and love my enemies as He taught, and I know that, even if it takes a lifetime, God can turn that hatred into love...because all things are possible through Christ.
So...I'm saying goodbye to the quiet Catholic I used to be. I will not hold back in attacking that which is wrong in this world, or in myself as an imperfect and flawed, yet incredibly wonderful, human being. I will love others as Christ asked us to...but I will never love those many things which the modern world deems are just.
Before I go for the moment, I have just one more comment to make...another great man once said that in order to change the world, one must first change himself. So I guess today is the day I end my silence. Love and peace to all who are reading this...and have a wonderful day!

Christ be with you always,

Hiram :D"

She

She's there, somewhere--my other half;
A bright and shining rose among the chaff.
Lovely, bright, there stands she firm
Unbowing to the winds of modern slur.

Many have I known, but none like she;
Radiant as the dawn, my wife will be.
Though I know not the form that she'll possess
I know how
deeply my kin she will impress.

Yes, my family's love will be a major sign,
That my heart and hers are both aligned.
The second sign will be that she,
Is breathless, rapt, in love with me!

Her heart will shine forth from her like a light,
Her love a beacon, piercing modern Night
And with that love, she'll seek to change this
sphere;
That's the second reason why to me, she'll be dear.

The third cause's root: her attitude,
Her God will be my God, and faith,
Will bequeath her wings, as it has me,
And intertwine our destiny.

Religion, here, is paramount,
Above all other things;
Her faith means more than pretty lips,
Or figure--her faith must sing!

Children to her must be drawn,
A mother she'll long to be.
A loving one, words tinged with magic,
That makes childhood carefree.

A zealous one, by all accounts,
The one I love will show,
In her actions, in her words,
Down the easy road, she'll rarely go.

And cute--adorable, and sweet,
My wife will be, when we first meet,
And by these marks, quite sure I'll know,
That to a life with her, I now must go.

But one main thing, I must recall;
Love makes all old loves shine,
Inspires one to be their best,
That's yet another sign.

So yes, she's out there--maybe far
Away for her I'll look
But one thing more, I know for sure:
She'll be worth the
time it took. J

I Stand Upon A Height

I stand upon a height,
And at a low.
Sparks of wisdom flash
Where'er I go.
I struggled with this poem,
But I know…
I must leave behind me something
B'fore I go.

The words now come so slowly; at a creep.
Sometimes, frustration's 'nuff to make me weep.
I know that lying here would be a sin,
But I can't let out all that I'm holding in.

My time's been long--a baker's dozen years.
A happy time--but yes, one filled with tears.
And I've known few people true as I have, dear;
Many who were fools,
but thought them seers.

The time is coming, soon, when fools will know
The length of vict'rious cutting tongues will slow,
Until at last, a silence stretches on,
Where once, the voice of bullies carried brawn.

This ode is meant for those left in the dark,
Unpopular, unnoted; listen, hark!
The time will come when you will know,
That there's no place on Earth you cannot go.

No height too great to climb, nor act you've
planned,
I know now well for fact your destiny is grand!
So when all else seems hopeless, or unsure
When fate casts its line, please bite the lure!

The end of life here marks a birth elsewhere,
The caterpillar, its cocoon an empty snare
Drying out its wings along the summer warm,
And flying off in fall, it's want to test its form.

Winds of change, once silent, now are heard,
Its song a melody I'd seldom learned.
While I might have regrets, I have no slur;
My time here is well-spent…of that I'm sure.

Eagle Scout

Standing at attention
My eyes pass o'er the flag
Then back to my parents,
Who both look so glad…

A decade and eight,
Barely hitting the line
I've reached the epitome
Shocked by where I am.

My religion's sign is a cross,
My branch, the trunk; true faith
Ordained by the voice,
Of the one who crushed death.

My fingers are for writing,
My voice for speaking prose,
My mind's an Eden-Labyrinth,
Adorned with climbing-rose.

A multiverse of worlds have I,
Deep-hidden in this place,
My whole life long, I wish to show,
These globes with wordly grace.

I stand now for the old things,
Forgotten; tested, true,
And bring with me, this message,
From our forerunners to you.

Fall not prey to modern trappings,
Hollow lies wrapped new,
Just because a thought is "dated"
Doesn't mean it isn't true.

The truth is this: I am an Eagle,
And here is my reward:
A rank, a nation, a heart to serve,
A fate I must work toward.

My destiny is to the stars,
I hold it in my hands,
So now, I take the wings you gave me,
To seek out distant lands.

And though, I hope, we shall ne'er be
Miles or oceans apart,
I know deep down I'm always with you,
So in that, take heart.

So now, I've stood before that flag,
My destiny my own,
But, dearly beloved, please, do know:
You are my only home.

Clouds O'er Canyon

I stand at its edge
On a rainy day
My gaze feels like an eagle,
Flying o'er the haze.

Clouds cling to the canyon,
Fogs, hauled by the streams,
That a river carved this Eden out,
I'll never know, it seems.

I've walked down, through the trees below,
Their earthy fragrance rich,
There's beauty in ev'ry leaf, I know,
And for me there, a niche.

I am a forest wanderer,
A sleeper 'mongst the trees,
Where others find this place a bore,
I acclimate with ease.

The rain is ice in filigree,
Drips cascading on my head,
But even so, the thought to leave,
Is worse than being dead.

My parents call, I turn my head
To see them 'gainst the line
Of titans old, of xylem bold,
And in them, see a sign.

My heart to forests closely linked
Will lead me here again
Though I must go now, I am sure,
I'll be led back again.

So smiling, I then leave the edge
My steps a careful dance,
Reluctantly, I turn away,
And rainfall marks my cadence.

We navigate across the mud,
Until we reach our van;
But as I open wide the door,
I spy a wayward can.

I pick it up, without complaint,
And throw it straight away.
Pollution will not claim this place--
Not now, nor any day.

What The Heck Is Up?

Ok, guys...I know this might not be smart, but I need to put this down.
God, life is so confusing...please help me find some way through this ridiculously stupid, artsy-fartsy maze...

How is it that girl's drool over a guy they'll never meet, and completely ignore a perfectly decent guy that's known them for years?

Why do girls gun for sleezebags or assholes and leave good guys in the dust with the words "Hiram, you're such a nice guy...any girl would be lucky to have you!"

Mourning the Lost of a World of Hearts

Axel...
Roxas...

Xion...

Why?



...I'm listening to "Organization XIII", from the Kingdom Hearts II Original Soundtrack. Look it up.
...is it wrong?
Is it wrong that I cried for them? They, without hearts, existences without hope for salvation, without hope for a better existence, their friendship torn asunder, smashed apart by fictional greed and lust for power? Is it wrong that I cried, bcause I felt that what happened--even if it wasn't even real--was tragic? Was cruel? Was one of the most unfair things that's ever happened in fiction?
Why did Xion have to die? Have to evaporate from existence, simply for being a vessel of memories taken from Sora, unknowing and unwanting of the strain?
Why did Axel have to sacrifice himself, have to die a Nobody, have to die without hope of ever seeing Roxas--his best friend--ever again?
Why did Roxas have to be beaten down, in order that Sora might waken again?
Why were these three torn apart?

...I've been wondering to myself about this for a while now--I only really got hit by the shock of it just last night, after finishing 358/2 Days. I sobbed. Literally, sobbed.
Maybe it was the music. Dearly Beloved, shown with the picture above--one somehow so nostalgic I couldn't take it anymore.
I'm an emotional guy--hypersensitive, scientifically. Too little serotonin to be at ease very easily, or concentrate very well--but also so deeply emotional that, were I to live a few hundred years back, people would think I was crazy (I sobbed at the end of William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet--the one with Claire Danes and Leo DiCaprio (msp???)).
But this just...got me. Profoundly, and painfully.
And as I've wondered about this to myself, I've asked many questions.
Am I crazy?
Is it right that I should be mourning the loss of fictional people, victims of events that never transpired, nor ever could?
Am I crying because it somehow marks the death of my childhood, having only reached 18 years three weeks ago? Or that it marks the death of friendships soon to come, when I graduate, and in the case of many of these people I now go to school with, never see them again? Is it a premonition of some sort?
Or...
...
...is it because I've always longed for a friendship like Axel's and Roxas's and Xion's in my life?
...is it because I've never found the Samwise to my Frodo, to bring LOTR into the mix (Mama, if you're reading this--help me out!)
I wept. Like a baby.
For Axel, who died never getting to see his best friend again--and, without a heart, being unable to exist at all.
For Xion, who died knowing that any and all memories of her would have to fade from the memories of those she loved, and died in the arms of her first friend, only to have him begin to forget her name as she fell, a puppet of the Organization.
For Roxas, who had to lose them both, and all hope of getting his old life back.
Is it wrong, I ask myself, is it insane, to cry for characters you long to be real--wishing internally that YOU could be the one to go to the clocktower every evening after your awesome daily mission, eat ice cream with, and watch the sunset as you laughed and talked together with friends that love you just as much as you love them, and have no lack of confidence that they do?
...
...no.
I tell myself this now, despite my doubts. No...it's not wrong. It's right. It's alright. I can cry for them. What would be wrong would be wanting to cry for them, and deciding not to.

Before I go, I'll just need to say one thing: I'm not a lunatic...I hope. I don't believe that Kingdom Hearts is real, that Axel, Roxas, and Xion will ever pop up at my doorstep and invite me to hang out with them. Perhaps if I were...a decade younger. But not now.
Is that sanity? That we openly defy the fact that we want something to be real that isn't? Or that crying for something that isn't real is considered wrong?
No...I refuse to agree to that. Sanity is being honest with yourself, being honest with your heart.
Being honest with your first friend--God. Letting Him know that you're sad, and being comforted in the knowledge that, in the end, all pain will be swept away, and in its place will be unequaled bliss--a bliss where everything is somehow right.
So yes...I cried for Axel, for Xion, and for Roxas.
And I would again, rather than forsake my own feelings, though strange they may seem.